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Anesthetic
06-08-2005, 09:20 AM
I was bored, so I felt like doing a mid-week installment. Don't get used to this. The rest will be end of week.

Rap Dogs Weekly Mag #3


My god, a scandalous week in question. Some happenings have gone down this week which make
me just squirm in my all-white Huarache 2k4's while writing this.V-Style, you are without a doubt,
the sorriest person to ever lay their fingers on a keyboard. You laid out an elaborate scheme like that
, just to claim a win. Why would you go and do something like that,It was just stupid. You have two
nicknames, and change the signature in one of the nicknames to be one of J's verses. You
undoubtedly take top honors, for this week's royal bitch.

Rap Dogs Idol
Oh my god, Rap Dogs Idol this week kept all of our 20 million viewers ( Okay 3 viewers. ) in suspense
until the very last vote was cast. This week it was Severe up versus baklikecookdcrack. Crack was
up first, performing the classic by Celine Dion " My Heart Will Go On" from the Titanic soundtrack.
B.L.C.C. showed his extreme prowess with hitting the high notes, reminiscing Mariah Carey. He
received a standing ovation from the crowd. Up next, it was Severe, performing Stevie Wonder's
"Ribbon In The Sky" He showcased his perfect range, hitting every note perfectly. The crowd
exploded as he bowed. And then, was time for the votes from our celebrity panel of judges. First
up it was JKeith Abdul.

JKeith Abdul: "B.L.C.C. Whatever happens, you are truly a winner tonight whatever happens.
*Whisper* Call me.. I helped admin win it a few weeks ago...

"And you Severe, I love you. Rap Dog idol for this week, truly fits you. You ARE the ideal idol

Logikal Randy Jackson : "YO DOG, YEAH DOG. TUBULAR DUDE. I MEAN OH MY GOD DUDE,
BOTH OF YOU. DUDE, TOTALLY SERIOUS."

Green Machine Cowell: "Even though this is the final, both of you were unequivocally horrible.
Both of you suck"

And then the votes were in.....

Anesthetic SeaCrest: "And the winner of Rap Dog's Idol is..... SEVERE CLARKSON"

And with that, Severe broke into tears, accepting the $2 record deal, and a Biggie Sized
Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Along with a complementary Chevy Malibu with Wal-Mart
spinning Hub Caps.

Anesthetic Seacrest : "Until next time, SING GOOD, RAP BETTER, AND DRESS THE BEST"

Under The Radar:

Absolute - Don't know much about this guy, except for what I have seen him do in battle. Seems
like another uy who takes complexity over basic structure. Look out for him.

Severe - This guy is fairly new. I've battled him, and can see that has has those inflallibles
needed to be a champion on this site. If he can tune up those punchlines, he'll be a force
to be reckoned with.

BakLikeCookdCRack - Bak is catching my eye, progressing quickly on a day to day basis.
He seems like a sponge when it comes to feedback on his verses, and what he should do
to make them better. He actually read the mag, and what I said about some of his battles,
and he made an effort to better himself. Now THAT is some determination. Keep it up.

Newbie Tip
Stay humble during your first few weeks or so here. DO NOT get a big head just because
you won a few battles. GIve yourself some time to get a reputation, you know? Don't come in, beat
one guy, and think that you are the ISH. Then you set yourself up for one of the older Vets to come out
and slice the legs out from under you. Gradually elevate yourself, start by taking on the newbie circuits,
then increase your level of difficulty slowly. You'll be taking out numerous vets in no time.

Producer's Tip:
As an artist, you gotta be willing to invest in your self. Complaining about a beats price is ridicules. Music is an art and the prices i've seen have been inexspencive for good art (like $250 for example). I've seen some cats whore off beats for like $25. But you get what you pay for. - Big D


Power Rankings:

5. Jingle
Jingle makes his resurgence into the top 5 by showing some extreme battling prowess versus last week's
top Emcee, undissable. Though not winning he reminded us all of his ability to react with some searing
punches and somewhat satirical rhymes. If he can keep with the same consistency and battle status,
look for Jingle to make a push itno the top 3, pending that he can dethrone some of the higher ranked
emcees. Watch out.

4. Green Machine
The Machine of Green makes his 'Power Rankings' debut in the number 4 spot. I admit that I was a little
biased against the Veteran's battle section, considering that there was virtually no activity there,
whatsoever. But I will say it again, that was a huge mistake on my part. Green has got a verse complexity
similar to that of undissable, minus the stringing together of metaphors,with a slightly more Personal
approach to his battles. If green can keep his level of intensity where it is right now, then look for him to
become a permanent fixture on this list.


3. Anesthetic
3rd place for Anesthetic. No doubt about the talent that he possesses, but undissable and ToxN
edge him on the difficulty and number of battles this week. Seems like someone should go back to the
way he used to battle. 4 and 5 per week. There should be some progress in the coming weeks.
Step it up.

2. ToxN
ToxN has really impressed me with his battling ability, considering that he wasn't widely known at
first. No doubt people know him now. ToxN has the uncanny ability to mix in complexity, with battle
lyrics, something that is not widely found 'round these parts. Within the past week, he's been,
undoubtedly to his opponents, unstoppable. Let's see in the following weeks, shall we?

1. undissable
Undissable continues his reign as the top emcee on this site, edging Anesthetic by the sheer
difficulty of their battles this week. NO doubt that Jingle is a more reputable emcee than Severe
so undissable must take top honors again this week. There is no question that undissable is now
the top Dog on Rap Dogs, and Emcees will gun for him.

Emcees of the week
Common
*Ying Yang Twins ( You know you love them... )
The Game
T.I.
Juelz Santana ( Check the mixtapes.. )
*Mike Jones

* - not really emcees, but rocking the 'hoods.

Gfx Head of the week:
Logikal

Poll Question For The Week
Submitted By: BigT
Once again, many people have been caught biting lately. Now I propose a pole question to all those
who read this mag. What should happen if you are caught biting?


1. Not able to battle ever again
2. Be banned from battles for a week
3. Be banned from the site
Or maybe we should implement an offenses policy. Like Major League Baseball is doing?


Mod of the week: JKeith
Green Machine challenges Logikal and JKeith in a Triple Threat, Stampeding bulls,
Barbed Wire fencing, match. Logikal jumps on Jkeith as soon as the bell rings, and slams
his knee into his jewels and royal cepter, but to his surprise, JKeith is wearing a cup made
of tampered titanium, shattering Logikal's knee. Green Machine then slaps them both with a
rather large, fuzzy, purple dildo. Jkeith uses his super Jedi powers to grab the dildo and shove
it down Green Machine's throat, incapacitating him. Logikal grabs Keith from behind, but Keith
turned with his incredible Super Saiyan speed and shoves his winky into his left eye socket,
leaving Logikal unable to fight. JKeith wins by Death and T.K.O. Great match, I nearly
peed myself.


Rap Dogs Logo Competition *News*Jkeith & Logikal - Pixel Kingz Graphics
Battery - BS Inc
Metaphor
Dev Dollaz



Top Freestyles:

Brushing Off The Dust - Anesthetic
I Found God - ILLESTMYND
G.A.M.E. Tryout Piece - Battery

Listening The Of Week
Artist - Song - Genre
Mariah Carey - We Belong Together - R&B
Common - Be - Hip-Hop
Ying Yang Twins & Mike Jones - Badd - Crunk Muzik
R. Kelly - The Closet Pt. 3 - R&B

Top Punches

( Anesthetic ) To Severe
Come the fuck on man, with skills like yours, you can't hope to pass this test
You really need to concentrate when you're spitting against me, so let your dick rest
Yeah, I know you resort to spanking your monkey 'cuz bitches give you no respect
But I wouldn't get respect from them either if my dick looked like a maggot in a turtleneck

( The Relik ) To ILLESTMYND
i'll CRACK youR SHELL like mistreatin offspring of BIRDS-AND-REPTILES. . .you couldn't WEAVE a tight flow if your WORDS-WERE-TEXTILED// .

( ToxN ) To Absolute
You lost like bad-navigation, couldn’t get help with collaboration
You must have mad-frustration, cuz the only thing you cum with is m.asturbation
You’re scared so I drop-first, since you’ve started you got-worse
Pussy, I’ll make your t.wat-burst, cook you like bratwurst
Throw-yer-best and you’re still below-the-rest
I’ll blow-yer-chest, and like you said: “You know-the-rest”*

( Jingle ) to undissable
the king of rap dogs, is what this f.ag should call me
tryin to be hard, when his avatars from dragonball z

( Undissable ) to Jingle
I already told your girl if I `wanted brain` I'd jus crack your head first/
Fuck, only time you `see the hood` is when rockin' the backward sweatshirt


Last Week's Recap(s):
Title holder(s) & Match(es): None
::Winners of matches will be placed in bold font:::

::Battle Of The Week::
Undissable VS Jingle

::Newbie Battles::
BigT VS C4

Reppin London Town VS King Kong

B.L.C.C. VS Bishtang

MC Real Eyez VS Reppin London Town

IcyBlueLegend VS ILLESTMYND [Stupid biters]

Ace1212 VS Artifact

Anesthetic VS Severe [Uhm, yeah....]

V-Style VS B.L.C.C. [Crack is elevating. Keep it up]

J-Keith VS VStyle

DaSouth VS Hazardous [Hazardous murdered it...]

JSHOT VS Mafia [I could've sworn Mafia said "First to 5"]

Dascyple VS MC Real Eyez

Roach VS Severe [Who won...?]

Jersey Kid VS Chi*vice [.....]

Dascyple VS DA_DOC

Severe VS Object

Farout VS S-Stylez

ILLESTMYND VS The Relik

BakLikeCookdCrack VS CT

Reclipse VS Severe

ILL-J vs Timmcnairr [Stupid biters...]

Jersey Kid VS Roach [LOL. HIS VERSE WAS GARBAGE]

Ammo VS YUngPantha

BISHTANG VS Jersey Kid

The KneWrite VS Farout

Dannyboy VS Jersey Kid

King Kong VS Dascyple [LOL]

ILL-J VS Tim [Stupid biters]

Jersey Kid VS Chi*Vice [That dude never quits..LOL..]

[b]Suggestions:
LET'S GET SOME CREW TOURNAMENTS AND TOURNAMENTS FOR THE TITLES.

Crew NewsSection edited by: Battery
Battles:

THA UND3RDAWGZ vs Verbal Destruction ( W - Verbal Destruction- DQ ) Comments: There was biting involved so Verbal Destruction won by default.

Gossip:

V-style, phatfarm411, KMA, dascyple have left THA UND3RDAWGZ, who have an up and coming battle against STREET DIZCIPLES; Who consequently just released mans_got_flo

Jersey kid has taken over the branch of THA UND3RDAWGZ known as 3rd World Soldiers, formerly headed by phatfarm411

There is alot of talk Verbal Destruction relieving King Kong of his position of crew leder.

In other crew news, Emcee Arsenal will be missing undissable,who has teamed up with Anesthetic to start a crew of only the most elite spitters, aptly named G.A.M.E. , The Gods Against Mortal Emcees

There seems to be a little bitterness in the GO HARD area, since the departure of battery.

Lyrical Destruction has been inactive, calling for their beloved mod, -Green Machine- to issue an ultimatum, stating that if they don't become more active, he's leaving.... Oh well, he left and joined G.A.M.E.

There are also two new no-name crews, headed by RyDeR and Ammo72 respectively. There is also XPLICIT, a new crew out there looking for talent.
---------------------
Veteran Battles
Section submitted by: battery

Loki VS Nusence (Loki-K.O.) Comments: Good battlethat was quite close in all categories, but Loki's verse was more battle-like, while Nusence had more of a freestyle feel to it.

InstinX VS Ju Ju Round 2(Ju Ju-K.O.) Comments: Ju Ju took all categories, with the exceptions of Flow(Tie) and Personals(InstinX). Otherwise both verses were credible, but someone has to win.

Jersey kid vs BigT (Jersey kid-DQ) Comments: No verses were spit and BigT walks away with his head down. Biting...

~*Jkeith*~ vs v-style (~*Jkeith*~-DQ) Anesthetic pretty much sums it up right here,"Here is the situation: JKeith is being accused of cheating, but has proven that it was bogus, because V has two nicknames, the other of which he changed the signature to match one of Keith's bars. That means he DID NOT BITE. And NO, he cannot make the IP address, "more clearer". He blurred it for a reason. You don't just go around on the net giving out people's IP addresses, that is what leads to about 30% of identity theft in the world. Now, what all this boils down to is that V styles = Dirty Red, and has been voting for himself. Case closed."

KMA vs. Mafia20085x (Mafia20085x-K.O.)Comments:The verses were close in all categories, but Mafia just had the best of the two. KMA's was real close though, props man.

Graphic Of The Week

http://img93.echo.cx/img93/8999/logikcarsig3xb.jpg

Link to the original:

http://rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/about19986.html

That thing is awesome...


Admin:
I know a lot of you guys out here will agree with me when I say, "ADMIN IS SO FREAKING HOT"
LOL, OMG. HE LIKE, ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF. Here he is.

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/294/940/400/obese-fat_guy.jpg

~*Jkeith*~
06-08-2005, 08:00 PM
Haha...another masterpiece....Good Job Anesthetic

Anesthetic
06-08-2005, 08:05 PM
Lol, thank you, thank you. You should thank Admin for letting me take that picture of him