the introduction

[FlawlesS]

aiight everybody...
this is my first time ever really writin poetry..ive been writin raps for over 8 years but never really tried poetry..so...here i go...let me kno what yall think

this is my life which has been known as a struggle
its been shattered before, and popped like a bubble
i cant hold on to anything, i got these balls that i fumble
ive been constructed and demolished--crumbled into rubble
its hard to hold on..so i picked up the pen and started writin these songs
its so hard to hold on..since the age of 8 my pops has been gone
its so hard to hold on..ive felt like i dont even want to go on
i dont even want to hold on...
ive been addicted to bud, and it has just been fuckin me up
cause now, more than ever im the farthest away from the woman i love
and ive been hassled for what ive done, and what i havent
but its too late--whats been done has been established
and what is going to be done is for me to manage
just thinkin of the situation causes the panic
im not a star gazer and i have no idea what future will hold
ive gone from the new to the old, and from the sewer to gold
but i do kno one thing ive always been-and that is tru and thus bold
so lets see jus where i will go.........

http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?p=14842#14842
http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?p=14843#14843

[Rocco Malice]

I feel it Flawless but that might jus be cos i been though the same fucked up life shit, it was deep an ghetto with meaning. But i think it might be ait straight forward story tellin and not really poetic enough for them serious poet types but i feel it so fuck dem. And renember rapping is ghetto poetry.

Keep writting cos you got skillz, no bullshitting.

Peace

[FlawlesS]

thanx rocco

yo peeps, can i have some more feedback?

[Divine Write]

I agree with Rocco/ I thoroughly enjoyed this poem/ your feelings were felt and deep/ it flowed well when I read it/

keep it coming Flaw I am looking forward to your future poems/

[DeadlyAssassin]

I felt that shit too, is was a great poem, It was FLAWLESS, Do i need to say anymore

[Minilogo]

aiight everybody...
this is my first time ever really writin poetry..ive been writin raps for over 8 years but never really tried poetry..so...here i go...let me kno what yall think

this is my life which has been known as a struggle
its been shattered before, and popped like a bubble
i cant hold on to anything, i got these balls that i fumble
ive been constructed and demolished--crumbled into rubble
its hard to hold on..so i picked up the pen and started writin these songs
its so hard to hold on..since the age of 8 my pops has been gone
its so hard to hold on..ive felt like i dont even want to go on
i dont even want to hold on...
ive been addicted to bud, and it has just been fuckin me up
cause now, more than ever im the farthest away from the woman i love
and ive been hassled for what ive done, and what i havent
but its too late--whats been done has been established
and what is going to be done is for me to manage
just thinkin of the situation causes the panic
im not a star gazer and i have no idea what future will hold
ive gone from the new to the old, and from the sewer to gold
but i do kno one thing ive always been-and that is tru and thus bold
so lets see jus where i will go.........

http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?p=14842#14842
http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?p=14843#14843

I liked it alot bro. Felt that i could really relate to it. Keep it real.

[shynee_ma]

Good Ish! Expecially for a first timer. I'm really impressed. It was slightly in the form of a rap, I mean I could vision someone rapping it, but it could be spoken in poetic form also. Keep writing. No need for improvement, because as long as it's original, and it comes from off the top of your head.....Why improve? Honestly, Oh well, good job, I hope to see more by you.

Nikki

LinkZ
http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/posting.php?mode=reply&t=2082
http://www.rapdogs.com/message-board-forum/viewtopic.php?t=2472
:)

[PLAYBOYBLAZE]

flawless that was hella tight....putting so much into such a small paragraph...I feel you on that smoke, sometimes it just takes hold and takes your mind for a walk, know what im sayin...but on the real, you just stepped right into poetry without a stumble....good shit keep it up