The Lion..

[Simba..]

When Lion sends his roaring forth/
Silence falls upon the earth/
For the creatures, great and small/
Know his terror-breathing call/
And, as if by death pursued/
Lion, thou art made to dwell/
In hot lands, intractable/
And thyself, the sun, the sand/
Are a tyrannous triple band/
Lion-King and desert throne/
All the region is my own/...

Hit me back first time on this page..

[Simba..]

^^^6

[FlawlesS]

it wasnt bad...
u could use some type of metaphors/similies or something to make more poetic...and a larger vocab wouldnt hurt either...
not bad for a first try tho
keep postin

peace

[jaytee1234]

pretty good but lacked a few details, the lines could have been worked on