I need YOUR help!! [Archive]

Dr. Death

08-31-2006, 06:24 PM

Hey guys, I wanted to start by introducing myself and saying this is a cool site and thanks for reading my post and all that.

Anyway...

This guy (Dead Beat Hero- He's British but claims to be from Coney Island :roll: ) challenged me to a rap battle on another board- the thing is he sucks so bad nobody really wants to hurt his feelings- so I wanted to get the opinion of some people who know what they're talking about. Check it:

This is him challenging me because I freestyled on him one time earlier (note how many commas he puts in one sentence):

Sorry Death, I have no time to play with you, or your online thesaurus, today, but if you still think you got flow, maybe I'll start a proper battle thread with you. Just remember: I know who 57th Dynasty are.

So I break him off something:

Oh shit son, let's do this shit... yo... ugh... check it...

Attention K-mart shoppers, we've got a sale on commas
here comes DBH in a shopping cart with his mama
word to the wise kid, you don't need this drama
you run your mouth like tourettes- I drop bombs like Osama
You say you're from Coney Island but your just a wanna be
chalk it up son, cuz you ain't never gonna be
nuthin' but a notch on my belt tryin' to make fun of me
talkin' with a lisp, you're more queen than a honey bee
Let me put in perspective homey, you're not too bright
you're very best posts were the ones you didn't write
so grab your rubber sheets, don't forget your night-light
cuz I'm putting you back to bed, say your prayers
good night

He responds with THIS (http://www.sacredcowproductions.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2183&sid=517eed43e8ab1286ecf6b8910f90894d) thread. Check it out. Just in case you want to see the prior thread its right HERE (http://www.sacredcowproductions.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2179&start=0&sid=517eed43e8ab1286ecf6b8910f90894d).

Dr. Death

09-01-2006, 08:33 PM

Sorry about the confusion. All I'm asking for is your opinion. Who's got the better ryhmes between me and him?

I'll lay it out for you:

(My first diss is at the top^ of this thread.)

Right, to give you a chance (cuz that shit was ass out, man) I’m going to spit in the style of a Jungle MC.

Here com’ that hectic beat.

Step back, mother fucker
Cos you don’t know
I got flow like the CIA got blow.

You rabbitin’ on,
saying you like a Osama Bin hit.
What you hiding in cave,
Your kidneys turning to shit?

Wiv da mike in your hand
You doin’ a five finger rumba
I’m the taxi driver and you’re Patrice Lumumba

Got rhymes so deep
They make you choke
Like Hendrix in his sleep

Hey skin head
Later I’ll take you bowling
Cos after this freestyle you’ll need consoling

(Dubby interlude)

Pass me the Rizla
Pass me the herb
While I set my fazer from
Stun to disturb

(Back to the mashed up sound)

Awright? Haaaa haaaa haaaa
This one’s going out to the Wembly crew.

Bow down to my lyrical genius
It’s bigger than my ego
And my penis.

You deluded thinking you’re dope.
I’d rather check the words
of Stanhope

I’m the ruffest in the jungle
Never known to stumble
When you talking to me
keep it humble.

You say I ain't never gonna be
I was spinnin wax on pirates
why you was waiting for puberty

Talk like that
You better get hid
I’m sharper than
A Hackney stick up kid.

(Bass goes out of control, shots are fired, screams, then SO19)

One two three
tweedle-dumb, tweedle-dee
this cat drops nursery ryhmes
like dyslexic childrens tv
you wouldn't know flow if you sat down to pee
you say I got bad kidneys?
you got HIV

(1000 naked black girls shake their asses in unison spelling out Dr. Death)

Your a taxi driver sure
if you mean you're inaudible
I got you girl on my dick
you got shit that's unlaudable
drivin' a shit wagon labeled "non-potable"
snaggle-tooth hero
teeth like I oughta pull

(I land in a gold plated spaceship and step out wearing a suit made entirely of diamonds and other precious gems)

You set your fazer to disturb
I set my fazer to shit
I cut you from ear to ear
like a Tijuana facelift
you-can't-spit
here bite down on this
call the constable guvna'
you need a rape kit

(I sit down to a buffet of endangered species then wipe my mouth with the Shroud of Turin)

You're a stick up kid huh?
well I know where you stick it
bent over like quazimodo
with a bat made for cricket
ruffest in the jungle?
let me buy you a ticket
I'm from the city
where chumps like you brick it

Is that it?

Straight up and down on mf reals
Get ina way of my rhymes
And watch your skin start to peel

Try n’ catch this
Lyrical riff
Smoking like Marly
Smoked spliff.

I’ll cut you down
At my own leisure
Cos everytime you rap
It’s like you’re having a seizure

This shit will to make you cry
Like when you started school
And you left that blue trail in the
Swimming pool

I’m Jackie Wilson
My shit getting higher and higher
This tongue don’t just set
Clits on fire

You set your fazer to
Shit
Can't argue with that
Boy you said it

I got rhymes more dope
than a caff in Dam
I’m more of a supa ape
than Clyde the Orangatan

Yeah, can the owner of a blue astra C reg, please move it
People can’t get in. Cheers.

B-b-b-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r ah ha.

Mash it up well serious.

You step to me
Thinking you got lyrical gat
You’re just a mild irritation
Like the time your mum gave me the clap

Your shit is childish
Like hickory dickory dock
I’ll still be dropping beats
When you’re down the Y
Sucking cock

I’m more addictive than
Famous Polish dog
I've eaten out the pussy
of GOD

One last time likkle boy
Check this vocal
Get back to your trailer
Slack jawed yokel.

(Ladies of all nations, ages and social groups, pull me from the stage, there’s some pandemonium, but I make it to the door and to the white transit van waiting.)

Stay tuned kiddos, don't touch that dial
it's a medical drama sure to be worth your while
I've got a patient here with a bad case of denial
dude, your ryhmes are so bad you should be brought up on trial

You murdered the english language, you commited a crime
you rap like a bum asking me for a dime
well I dont give handouts- but I'll hand you your ass every time
fine
you wanna waste me time
I'll put you inline
atleast Richard Nixon had the decency to resign

Your mouths like a sewer, spouting out shit
I'd kick you in the ass if I knew which end to kick
it's hard to narrow it down when both ends are STUFFED WITH DICK

Your raps are pathetic, they're pitiful, they're sad
If I was to quote you it would make me look bad
you commit suicide with a pen and pad
ladies and gentleman, the father of whack rhymes- Dead Beat Dad

Ah, Death, you running out of steam?

You think you’re something
Coming from texas
And if you were Buddy or Bo
I wouldn’t make you check this

You living in
Cultural desolation
From your mouth nothing but
Verbal masturbation

You want me to take you to
Finsbury park
After dark?

We can walk around
Al qaeda town.

Your shit is comatose
Your drooling saliva
I’ll leave you covered in blood and snot
Like you’re a cokeheads
Last fiver.

Two African girls (recently “liberated from the Lords Resistance Army) start to chainsaw cardboard cut outs of Dr Death

I’m the original raga muffin
So check out these rhymes
I’ve been buffin’

You know my shit’ll make you stand and stare
Upset your mindset
Like a kick in the derrière

I dig it French
Like you dig it greek
You should learn how to
Listen
Before you speak

Now we got a little tribute act to Death:
(Onto the stage walks a 10 year old girl in frilly pink party dress, in one hand a piece of paper, in the other a shit casio key board)

You go girl

What I say
What I say
If you don’t like me
You must be gay

(Girl turns the paper over)

Your mum
Your mum
Your mum
Up your bum

YEEEAAAHHH BWOOOEEEYY!

You’re just trading
In verbal jism
I’ll pop your noggin
Like a meth related
Aneurysm

I’m slingin rhymes like
Booth slung toot.
I’m the one who’ll
Extratct you by the root.

You know I’m shuttin you down
Just the way I planned this
So pick up your dog Dorothy
And get the fuck back to
Kansas