jay-Bird is the werd.

[Jay-Bird]

New here, just stumbled across this site tonight. I just shit around and write a couple raps here and there. Made a song with my roomate, just put some lyrics to one of his songs (hit me up if you wanna check it out) I'm just here to check out some shit of other like minded individuals, and get a little better. Peace.

[healedbygod]

yo dude

[Trigo]

iword, this is the best place to do that bro, welcome and enjoy

[Gemcee]

sounds good man..
welcome--take a trip around the forums..we got alotta good stuff

[Cool c]

i hope you stick with it whats up

[Fantasy]

Welcome ... 8)

Stay active man... 8)

[Jay-Bird]

Ya I been real active, this is a tight place. Check and feed some shit I got going on here: 2 things i posted in the freestyle/open mic forum, I got a link to some music I made in the audio forum, and A battle in the rd1.

Gimme some feed and lemme know what yall think/

Peace

[Plies]

Yo I don't vote on battles too much d/r and hating. I used to vote bitches get pissed and start d/r my battles and shit so I'll analyze it here

I ain't even gonna speak about guns n a vest
cuz when ya runnin with me, ya gonna run with the best
Mister "Ar-at-Ge-Three" tryin to summon a breath
I'm spittin bars out freely, and ya as dumb assa brick
Couldn't get apunch line if it boxed ya chest
I brought ya death, verbally assault ya head
Virtually the walkin dead, I ain't stoppin yet
I'm poppin shit, droppin spit, and flauntin it
I take the rage of the ocean and I'm calmin it.

That wasn't a battle to be honest with you, more like a freestyle with attempted punches. Most of the time you were talking about yourself, battles are about dissing your opponent more than elevatin yourself.

Multies - first bar had one, put more in they can save your battle if they good
Personals - None(makin the opponent know you talkin to them)
Punches - weak as fuck, they don't necessarily have to have a hard concept, just a line that'll make you go holy shit that was awesome!
Creativity - work on it. This is important too, like my battles sometimes because I have a hard time thinking of creative punches.

o/a this is a rookie spit, check around here and you elevate like crazy in days.

[Jay-Bird]

Yo I don't vote on battles too much d/r and hating. I used to vote bitches get pissed and start d/r my battles and shit so I'll analyze it here

I ain't even gonna speak about guns n a vest
cuz when ya runnin with me, ya gonna run with the best
Mister "Ar-at-Ge-Three" tryin to summon a breath
I'm spittin bars out freely, and ya as dumb assa brick
Couldn't get apunch line if it boxed ya chest
I brought ya death, verbally assault ya head
Virtually the walkin dead, I ain't stoppin yet
I'm poppin shit, droppin spit, and flauntin it
I take the rage of the ocean and I'm calmin it.

That wasn't a battle to be honest with you, more like a freestyle with attempted punches. Most of the time you were talking about yourself, battles are about dissing your opponent more than elevatin yourself.

This was my first attempt ever at a battle.

Multies - first bar had one, put more in they can save your battle if they good
Personals - None(makin the opponent know you talkin to them

Actually There were 2 specific spots where I pointed out I was talking to him specifically. But If nobody caught it, i guess thats what matters.

Punches - weak as fuck, they don't necessarily have to have a hard concept, just a line that'll make you go holy shit that was awesome!
Creativity - work on it. This is important too, like my battles sometimes because I have a hard time thinking of creative punches.

o/a this is a rookie spit, check around here and you elevate like crazy in days.

[Fantasy]

Jay man ^^ keep writing and stay active on here and your''ll be gettin up there wid the big cats if ya stay active long enough lol

[Oijak]

welcum

[Plies]

That was your first attempt? Not bad then, I only telling you this because quite frankly, your opponent's verse was horrible. If you face someone with some skill, you won't be able to take it. I made a sick battle once, but it didn't have any good punches so it lost to a mediocre verse.

I actually noticed the opener was made cause the other guy talked about it before just didn't see it as a personal. That wasn't a bad personal, but the rage one is kinda lame if you just include it in the verse and bold it.

[Divine Write]

Howdie :D

[alfa-q]

welcome