Real (G-Unit Records)
02-17-2007, 08:52 AM
From wat i can see most of you niggaz is garbage
U sittin smart men stand up i guess u niggaz retarded
First day on rap dogs and niggas feelin my ill tactics
My lyrics run from my mouth like my jaws were automatics
And i'm not dramatic feel the static from dis semiautomatic
I can take from you and give to dem somthin like a democratic
So get ya mind right we keep things dem fiends want
And we keep them things that will split ya spline say we wont
T-Stylez
02-20-2007, 06:03 AM
cehck out the dogtraining topics man. It also couldnt hurt to read 'n' save this:
1. Rhyme struture - How a verse's written. Such as
amount of bars and location of rhyming words.
2. Simile - A comparison using the word "like" or "as".
3. Metaphore - A comparison without using the word
"like" or "as".
4. Wordplays - A pun, or words that has double meaning.
5. Multisyllables (multi) - Rhyming using words or
combination of words that contain more then one syllable.
6. Punchline - These are the harsh dissing lines. Or
sometimes it can be about anything.
7. Alliteration - bars or verse that contain words that
start with the same first letter.
8. Fillers - words that in a verse that's there just for
rhyming purposes or to take up space-make the lines the
same length.
~1~ RHYME STRUCTURE
Not too many people pay attention to this, but I believe
most of the verterans are aware of this. Though it
doesn't get mentioned much. Rhyme structuring is very
important. It actually give or take away the smooth
flow of a verse. Since the lenght of bars is important,
try to keep it at an even lenght. Also, place your
rhyming words carefully so that you'll have that easy
transition and it'll roll off of the tongue abit easily.
There really aren't any nice example to give, so just
look out for what I've described. You can do this by
reading any well established veterans.
~2~ SIMILE
Simile is a comparison that uses the words "LIKE" or "AS".
It's another way of saying something indirectly.
For examples:
A.
The heat got me handling "beef" like a "Butcher"//
I be 'punking' niggas like I'm 'Ashton Kutcher'//
B.
~3~ METAPHORE (metas)
Metaphore is another form of comparison. However,
it does not uses the words LIKE nor As. Metaphores
are very effective in capturing your audiences attention
if your ceativity is there.
For examples:
A."I spit so sharpe, every point I make will pierce
through your heart"
B."Fuck the Sun, I spit hotter than it's father"
~4~ WORDPLAY
This has to be the best part of writing a verse.
Wordplays are puns. Or words that has double meaning
used to conjoint two different concept together yet
make sense out of it. It's just basically that, playing
with words.
For examples:
A. I got a ~shotty~ I call it my "AXE", its givin niggas "BODY SPRAY"//
I got a ~AK~ I call it my "TAG" and it'll do the ~same~//
I got a ~shotty~ I call it my "AXE", its givin niggas "BODY SPRAY"//
^^^^^
Axe is a type of body spray. And I'm saying I got a shotty and I'm
givin niggas body spray or I'm spayin(shooting) them in they body.
I got a ~AK~ I call it my "TAG" and it'll do the ~same~//
^^^^^
That line is simular to the one above Tag is a type of body spray.
And I'm saying I got a AK and it'll do the same.
B. Shit im a $tar cuz im "OUT OF SIGHT", the "DARK BARREL"of my gun
look like the "SKY AT NIGHT"//
I'm the "LIGHT", see a "FLASH" and it could change ya whole ~life~//
~5~ MULTISYLLABLE (multis)
Multisyllable are words that has more then one syllable.
Or a single syllable words that are combined with other
words to make or give it that multiplesyllable sounds,
this is something a lot of rookies have trouble with.
Bad Examples:
A. Ill stump you cause your dumb as i jump you and thump
you.
Single words that all rhyme, are not multies.
B. ill show you the pain in my world reality shows
and make you a laughing stock like reality shows
Words that are the same, with different meaning also
are not multies
C. I can easily beat the shit-out-of-you
letting off min nines using clips-in-two
this isn't a horrible multi but the reasons are that
their not even syllibled, syllibles are different in
amount, and all the words dont rhyme, only the first
and last
Good examples:
A. As we're exchanging-final-hits-in-this-chain-reaction
im rearanging-spinal-discs-in-the-strangest-fashion
B. I ~rap~ and slang ~packs~ I got two-grinds
True-time, twist-twenties get-money and screw-dimes
I load-up and ya'll fold-up like fu-tons
[NOTE: keep in mind to still deliver hard punches with
multies, and not just have multies that are actually
filler.]
~6~ PUNCHLINE
It's simple, it's basically are dissing lines. Or can be
just a harsg line refering to wateva.
Bad Examples:
A. I have a flow that no one can compare cause everyone
knows the fear I impare
that is a weak and really corny punch-line
Good Examples:
A. Going against me will cause ya reputation to fade away
Cause when I battle niggas be getting ripped like gifts on
christmas day
B.You can't spit, I've seen crooked ass drop better
shit
~7~ ALLITERATION
Alliterations are rarely used. Though it's real nice
as a skit or a non-battle writtens. It's bars or verse
that start off using the same first letter.
For examples:
A. Fuck a fist fight, I fickle from fainted fire to
ferrocious flame just so you frame can fizzle at the
first light
B. Simply stated, it's sad to say son, your stupid
stories of soldiers that sold ya surpassed the second
stage of stupidity
da.south
02-24-2007, 07:15 PM
^^^Thank you...dats a good lesson, i knew most of it but a lil help never hurt no one, not even the Beatles...lol (The Beatles stared in a movie call Help!...Im pretty sure people liked it) :wink:
ok so here is a little something i wrote....let me know what u think n dont be too harsh...LOL
Hey... my name is kat....
and i ride a harley....
i like to drink things made with hops n barley....
im way older(oh my gosh)/ n i hate to say....
cuz sometimes i think it scares em away....
boo!....
naw... boo hoo
the reason i write...is to help my head.... cuz...the shit i seen....
alot more should be dead.....(they dyin ever day)
my girl got a ride up a lonely hill...
she had no idea(nor did we) it was her they would kill...
the reason they did it...(the rotton bastards) wasnt jus cuz they could.....
but cuz she went playin over n they hood.....(i told that bitch to chill)
how ironic, all the chronic...blood boilin...super sonic...(where the hell ru)
shot n the head...is what they said...jane doe...we didnt know...(scream)
left in a field for months frozen....(a fuckin season...no reason)
stiff like a board a mannequin posin....
the cops come around all the time askin questions...
wantin to give lessons....or have chat sessions...
(about where u are? have u called? have i seen yas? heres my card...ugh!)
its got me stressin...im workin let me get dressin..
ya p.i.g.s. stop messin...its depressin
i parade up n down....
i engage...hit the stage...im n an outrage...
from all of the crap with the flyin of colors...
stay here with us dont go with them others...
its tit for tat....
dont u get that....
i can tell ya a million...a trillin..gazillin....what i wanna know is do i gots ya feelin?
the stories of blood shed for patches n pride...
its what i think of when i ride...
nothing but memories of those that have died...
its all the truth i havent lied....
T-Stylez
03-01-2007, 10:05 AM
its iight 4 a first... u really dont wanna c my first rhyme it was eeven more wack lol. Just Keep on rapping dont give up.... and read what i posted before