First rap.....comments needed!

[The_Fox]

Dont say im a mc, because im a mk,
Microphone king that is what i say,
Because i do everything my way,
Thats why they make every day my day//
I dont take critisium,
I got more bars than a county prison//
Before you open your mouth to speak,
Your on the floor dead because you flow is week///

Ill slap you up, just in case,
Why's this boy looking in my face,
Dont know why hes getting in my face,
Hes gna get his ass kicked all over the place,
Nobody calls "foxy"(the fox) a discrace,
Im like a firework ill scar your face,
You can run away, you can be a waste,
But it i catch you, ill kick in your face.


:evil:

[lyrical thinka]

sad to say, but it's a true statement.... Almost every noob start off exactly the way you did.... You have the right rhyme scheme, stayed on beat(if there was one), but the wrong choice of words... This website is far beyond basic, which you just put on display... As I said you have the rhythm, now you need the vocabulary... Elevate

[The_Fox]

How would i improve vocab?

[iGneousOne]

Read more. That helps your vocab.

Using synonyms help a lot as well. Vocab is probably the most important thing if you're battling in topicals.

E.g.

Instead of using the word 'House', here's a list of words you could opt for, which would give your verse more depth.

House:

- Abode
- Residence
- Sanctum

These three words all show a lot more depth than 'house' does. Hope that helps.

[Leto]

Read the dictionary.

[Harmonic]

Whenver your reading somthing bro, and you come across a word you don't know FOR SURE, look it up.. you'll remember it.. No time to do that, just underline it and come back.

If you don't read that often hit up ANY bookstore grab a Thesaurus or and a book of Synonyms and Antonyms.. When your writing you flow, just go till you finish, and then go back and check out words that you can change, put em to memory and use em.. the next time your writ'n or spitt'n a flow it'll come to you like a slap in the face.

just ideas... peace

[ZAKCAV3LL1]

IF YA ASK ME I THINK YA NEED 2 STEP UP YO VOCAB MAN...CAUSE JUSTA BOUT ALL DA WORDZ ARE PRETTY BASIC

[ScRaTcH]

I make no mistakes, i'm larger than life
you'll need a stool just 2 reach ma height
hide for cover when u see me commin
sick of these sucka's frontin
You could judge hold a grudge
not show any love but i don't fuck

[ScRaTcH]

comments please

[makewayforenkay]

that was better vocab. now try to get a more complex rhyme scheme. insted of a,a,b,b,c,c use multis makin it ab,ab,cd,cd and then next time more complex abc,abc,abc,abc,cde,cde,cde,cde.... u get it but keep elevatin homie

[ScRaTcH]

thanks man i really appreciated keep up :D

[Multi]

work on your vocab fox it was really good for a begginner tho :D

[ScRaTcH]

thanx a lot for the feed back :)