Week 5 Topical: GTech (3-0) vs MANE (2-0) HW Champion

[Dex Aspen]

TOPICAL DATES ARE DIFFERENT THEN THE SIGN IN.TAKE NOTE.




Check In Due: Monday, March 12th, 11:59 PM
Verses Due: Wednesday, March 14, 11:59 PM

ANYONE CAN VOTE ON THIS BATTLE

(If your opponent checks in you must post some sort of verse for a win, if he doesn’t check in, then you win by default.)

Number of bars: Unlimited Bars
Topic: Typical Night Shift Of A Miami Policeman


Ect. Rules:
No Biting,ghost writting,or recylcing

3-0 KO, 4-1 TKO, Or First To 5 Wins.
No Hate/Dick Riding/Unexplained Votes.

crew votes are only allowed if both battlers agree on it.

Voting Rules:

1) Catogories,only with full explinations

Topical:

On Topic:
Depth:
Imagery:
Originality:
Flow:
Multis:
Enjoyment:
Vocab:

Overall Vote:


or

2)Bar by bar breakdowns

Misc:

Title battles will be based on record, attendance, and overall skill. Do not ask for a title shot.

You are allowed to PM me your verses

[MANE]

Check.

[GTech]

This Should Be Good...

CHECK!

[GTech]

A'ight here it is:

I gaze at my 8 year old son’s eyes, at his pupils of innocence
The naked eye visualizes evidently his diffidence
Kiss my beloved wife good bye, to my career of vigilance
Step on my porch with hesitations to the world’s insolence
Grip my belt of defenses, for protection when the missiles hit
My clips from my weapons, prevent a deadly incidence
Equipped with deadly artilleries, clutching my pistol’s clips
But for a right purpose in facilities, only god can tell the difference
Tamely put it away, my two hands grip the steering wheel,
Like gripping the verdict of imprisonment, fearing the deal
I head to the station to face the merciless, to report as a vigilant…
Approaching the streets, nearing the field
It’s a dark crisp night, numerous clouds blocking the moon
A group of people interfere my sight, as im stalking them soon
As they notice my presence alike, they’re walking anew
They drive away with a large bag bothered by me hawking their view
From a few steps to my vehicle I open my door and get in
Deviously follow their suspicious acts and wherever they’re headin
The black van makes a right at the lights, and drives away in the night
I make a right at the lights, as I follow em’ precise
As it becomes darker darkness swallows their sight
They enter a vacant alley, like thoughts through hollow minds…
Unaware of my attendance, they vacate their van
Approach to the back of their vehicle, as they take out body bag
As they hastily dump it into a dumpster, they re-enter their automobile
So I call for back up as my left hand is placed on the steering wheel
The chase commences once again, passing the fences, im behind their trail
As the van’s image passes my senses, suddenly my eyes go frail
As the black van speeds up ahead advancing, like a ship that set sail
Within the darkness the van vanishes, as my mind goes pale
Time went brail as I failed to attempt the capture
Laid back on my seat inside the car, into a disappointed stature
Finally the other policemen arrived, as I told them about the vanished van
That left me perplexed in an astonished stance
As I remembered the dumpster that contained the dead corpse
Which seemed to be the only evidential resort
So as the other policemen and I, entered the dark alley struggling to pass
We opened the dumpster and there was nothing but trash
As dawn arose and as the sun’s gleam aimed towards my murky eyes
I was still perplexed as I was returning to my family still remained mystified…

The next day arrived as I continued working during the nocturnal hours
Roaming the vacant streets functioning like an external bouncer
As I roamed around the block twice, I decided to remain in my car
I had to be near the streets but my position didn’t seem too far
Staring across the street with the streetlights, it was plain and quiet
Similar to the hearing of deaf people’s hearing it silent
As I slightly closed my eyes for a few moments, footsteps disrupted
The drowsiness I obtained, but I sat up and recovered
I looked outside my window, nothing was discovered
I laid back in my car right until I heard another…
Another footstep drew my attention, as well the image I saw from the rear view
Of the mirror, I quickly drew my weapon out and went outside to see it clearer
I saw two, gentlemen dressed in black with bandannas covering their face
Within seconds I was blinded as I was sprayed with pepper spray
As I was sightless on the ground wiping my eyes I heard a sound
Of a gun being cocked as im laying on the ground
Blinded by the pepper spray, one of the men pulls the trigger as the bullet,
Hits my left leg agonizingly as soon as he took the trigger and pulled it
As im wounded, blood leaking uncontrollably fast
Dread in my eyes, they pursued it; I didn’t think I would last
Witnessed attentively, when my pupils minimized from the Mag
Then defenselessly, I was stuffed sadistically in a body bag
As they carried me I vaguely saw our destination and the plan
As they were carrying me they stuffed me behind their black van
While I was captured, I realized I was entering the events of last night
Witnessing my own death that coulda been stopped in my own hands…
As im trapped in the back, the driver finally ceased driving
Relief was concealed, like hot summer days when the breeze is hiding
Release was blinding, I was finding the time, while climbing for the odds
But hopes were stabbed as they were knifing my thoughts
After several minutes, doors are opened, as we arrive in a dark ally
I felt like an unwritten narrative that reached the climax’s finale
As I barely survived the torture, they throw me in the dumpster hurriedly
They close the seal as im gazing at the obscurity
It was inevitable for me, as I was slowly connecting to God
Mental visions of my wife and beloved son was my last and only thoughts…

Summary

The story is about a policemen in Miami who has night shifts and patrols the streets and basically tames the violence that typically occurs in Miami. He has a wife and a 8 year old son that he loves very much. So while working one night, roaming the streets, a group of teenagers catches his attention. Thinking they're up to no good, he starts to observe they're activities. As they notice him (being the officer and all) they head to their black van and drive away. So he follows them. As he reaches to a dark alley way, he sees them dump a body in a bag into a dumpster, and they drive away. As he follows them again, the van suddenly vanishes into the night. The next day at night, he continues his night shifts as a policemen. As he's sitting in his car, he gets kidnap from a gang. As they shoot him in his leg, they stuff him in a bag. While they're driving the policemen is dramastically losing blood. As the gang arrives to the same alley where the policemen witnessed from the other night, they bring him out. As they take him out they dump him in a dumpster. Then he realizes that what occured the other night was kinda of a prediction of his death. As he's trapped in the dumpster he's dying slowly and losing blood, with his last thoughts of his wife and his 8 year old son.

[MANE]

This week's been hard, sports and school takin' up time and energy, so if I can get another day to write this that would be nice. If not, the belt is yours Gtech. I hate to be doin' this for the heavyweight but the dates were demanding for me. Let me know what's possible..

[GTech]

Up to Dex, but I wanna win this fairly so I'll wait.

[GTech]

Dex where u at?

And ive been patient, what happens now?

[MANE]

I'm puttin' my verse together but i wanna know if I'm still in?

[GTech]

Well i haven't seen Dex, but it's good with me

[MANE]

Red is the criminal speaking

White is the cop speaking



I hear my alarm, don't wanna wake up, This school shit is wearin' make up,
Fifteen, and my pencil's broken, replaced with three reasons I hate love,
My father's fist, drugs, and Gang thugz, A result of this street game shoved-
-And in my early years spoon fed, I hadn't dropped out of school yet,
'till my peer's pressure to slang and prejudice judgment had me too vexed,
Faced with the street I had no choice, but to slang weed and look fresh,
On the edge of that cracked corner street my future unfolded like a note,
Not of love, but my fate, my cage, Years passed as my index turned cut throat,
I was cold blooded like reptiles, pain spread like virus in the cough of a throat,
Jail is just another cage we're thrown, as these crimes become the scapegoat,
It was a cool winded friday night, the moon lookin' down at my soul,
Couple homies drinkin', smokin', laughin' at some stupid ass jokes,
But my face was shaded, faded, hoody over my head to stay cloaked,
Eyes out the cracked car window, watchin' the grey streets in a blur,
Exceedin’ the speed limit we were cruisin’ with wheels like blunts burn,
The moment froze like picture frames, Silence broke then sirens screamed,
I thought to myself, these thoughts are the last I’ll ever think while free,

“We have a speeding car”, I called in, Pushed my foot against the pedal,
Another routine pull over I assured myself, blind to the storm I awaited,
The battered Cadillac drove wreckless, twisted like a stomach unsettled,
Engine battled till I was neck to neck with- the car I was chasin’ fates with,
Two bullet shells whizzed by my head, followed by a storm of ballistics,
Brakes slammed -seatbelt pressed my chest, Car tippin’ -almost flippin’,
Adrenaline fueled my state of shock, Never before did I pray to God,
As that Cadillac spun my direction, I lifted my voice to make a call,
“Back up! I need Back up!” I screamed into my radio,

It felt like hours- but time’s slippin’, only seconds had passed,
As that Cadillac came closer and closer like a wave to crash,
The next moment I was facin’ laughs, Flyin’ my plane with dad,
Happiness so close to my soul, I continued to make is last,
Thirteen candles highlighted a smile laced with jubilation,
Family and friends so close to my senses I could taste it,
At the side of my grandpa’s last moments of life -I faced him,
Before he closed his eyes -He whispered, “life is what you make it”
The dawn of a sunny afternoon manifested, birds singin’ aloud,
Sputtering sprinklers doused a rippled reflection of a playground-
sand box and swing set on the cracked sidewalk, I heard shots,
The image of that bliss crashed quick, bullets invaded my thoughts,
I looked up to face this man wearin’ a hoody and a cold glare,
Pistol barrel locked to the side of my head I could only stare,

loaded my clip with bullets and soul, Nothin' left but to pull it and go,
Trigger finger clicked and the bullet spun right through my dome,
This is my life, and how i've grown, this is the street, and how I drove,
This is the fate handed to me- And it resembles a weed in the grove,


Good luck.

[GTech]

Dam, nice drop.. Glad to see you pulled through.

Should be close, so VOTE UP

[GTech]

BUMP

[MANE]

Come on, don't sleep on the heavyweight ...

[DiMe™]

:shock: Whoa, Imagery Is Nuts From Both....


On Topic - TIE [Both held this down really well]
Depth - TIE
Imagery - [b]GTech [Just edged this with his premanition concepts]
Creativity - TIE [Mane had a cool role playing thing going on but Gtech came with that sick idea bout premanitions]
Flow - GTech [Mane started off really well with his 3 line rhyming scheme but then it switched half way through and i didnt like that]
Multies - TIE
Enjoyment - [b]MANE [His role playing type story was sick IMO]
Vocab - TIE [GTech had a more sophisticated Vocab except i think manes vocab was more suited to the peice]

Overall Vote = GTech

GTech = 2 cats
MANE = 1 cat


Very Very Close Battle....
Both Definatly Worthy Of The HeavyWeight Title Shot....


...Favourite Line...
loaded my clip with bullets and soul, Nothin' left but to pull it and go,
Trigger finger clicked and the bullet spun right through my dome,

[Evoligion]

On Topic - Tie - Both stayed on topic well .. As planned.

Depth - GTech - Edged this one , with the flipped concept on the preminition ... Worked great with the topic.

Imagery- Tie- Tech had this one, until Mane's 2nd verse, his imagery was fuckin ill, so it equaled out.

Creativity - Tie - Both came raw, brought the originality and threw it down the same.

Flow - Tie - Both could of came a little better with the flow, both verses were sketchy, and uneasy at times, with the rhymeschemes and multis.

Multies - Tie - They were about even, didn't really stick out in either verse.

Enjoyment - GTech - He got this catagory on his overall verse .. Mane would of had it if his first part was as well writtin as the second.. Mane's second part was fucking ill , if he came that hard the whole thing, he would of raped it.

Vocab - Mane - He had the less compilicated vocab. GTech would get this cat if you would consider it who used MORE vocab, but IMO , its who used the vocab, to make it flow better and not throw you off, as well as how it went to the verse, too much vocab sometimes is a bad thing. ( I have a good understanding of vocab, but some peoples is limited and it'll throw them off bad and make them not understand the verse as much, so thats why I base this cat the way I do )


Overall Vote - GTech

[GTech]

2-0 Me..

Thanks for tha vote people... PM me if u want me to vote in ya battles..

Uppin on KO

[The Chozen One 13]

On Topic - Tie - Both stayed on topic well .. As planned.

Depth - GTech - Edged this one , with the flipped concept on the preminition ... Worked great with the topic.

Imagery- Tie- Tech had this one, until Mane's 2nd verse, his imagery was fuckin ill, so it equaled out.

Creativity - Tie - Both came raw, brought the originality and threw it down the same.

Flow - Tie - Both could of came a little better with the flow, both verses were sketchy, and uneasy at times, with the rhymeschemes and multis.

Multies - Tie - They were about even, didn't really stick out in either verse.

Enjoyment - GTech - He got this catagory on his overall verse .. Mane would of had it if his first part was as well writtin as the second.. Mane's second part was fucking ill , if he came that hard the whole thing, he would of raped it.

Vocab - Mane - He had the less compilicated vocab. GTech would get this cat if you would consider it who used MORE vocab, but IMO , its who used the vocab, to make it flow better and not throw you off, as well as how it went to the verse, too much vocab sometimes is a bad thing. ( I have a good understanding of vocab, but some peoples is limited and it'll throw them off bad and make them not understand the verse as much, so thats why I base this cat the way I do )


Overall Vote - GTech

co sign

[GTech]

i don't know if co-signs are allowd.. Let's see if Dex agrees with it

[MANE]

If that vote was counted, then, congratulations! I'll see you around, eh? :twisted: :lol:

[MANE]

Actually, don't count that. This is the heavyweight, and that's a lame ass vote.

[!FEren]

Sorry MANE :puppydogeyes:
(seen better from yu tho..) But still was nice drop by GTech..

On Topic: Tie..obviously
Depth: G
Imagery: M
Creativity: Tie
Flow: G
Multies: G
Enjoyment: Tie..couldnt pick a winner
Vocab: M

O/A: GTech

3-0KO i think..

[GTech]

^^Thx for tha vote man, apreciate it

3-0 me KO

Nice battle MANE, i thought fa sho you had me there

[MANE]

Yeah, for the most part votes were close, but hopefully we'll get 'matched up' again and make some fire. Congratz. 1

[Evoligion]

Gratz Tech..

And Mane, sorry if my vote was lame, I read both battle throughly and broke down each cat the best way I could and the fairest way I seen it through my eyes.

I called it to the best of my abilitys.

[MANE]

Gratz Tech..

And Mane, sorry if my vote was lame, I read both battle throughly and broke down each cat the best way I could and the fairest way I seen it through my eyes.

I called it to the best of my abilitys.

I was talkin about the chozen one 13

[Evoligion]

^ Yeah, I got the PM ..

I thought you was talking about the vote that he co-signed..

I got you. Good battle guys.